For Men
I Think She's Pregnant
Whether a pregnancy is planned or unplanned, the man plays an important role in the decision of whether or not to parent a child. Regardless of your relationship in the future, both parents should be involved in making the best possible decision for the current situation. If your partner suspects that she might be pregnant, or even if she has had a pregnancy confirmed, you may be feeling pressure and have some questions.
It is important to know that you have the biggest influence on the choice she makes. We want to help you to make this choice together.
When you come to Spero, you will have the opportunity to discuss the many ways for you to help your partner with our trained Male Advocates. For now, here is some advice to benefit both of you:
What to do:
Take the Time to Talk: Have open conversations with her in which you both express your thoughts and feelings. Additionally, you should both discuss the situation together with your parents and other people who are close to you and will be impacted by your decisions about this pregnancy. You will both benefit from sharing your thoughts and feelings instead of attempting to keep them hidden inside. This will only cause stress that can burst out unexpectedly and lead to a more serious issue.
Listen to Her: You are a part of this pregnancy, but keep in mind that this situation involves more than just you. You and your partner are both responsible for making decisions for yourselves and your baby. The best thing you can do is to listen and respond to her needs.
Remain Calm: She needs your support. Although she is the one carrying the baby, you are both playing a part in this pregnancy. No matter how stressed you might feel, do your best to keep your emotions under control and be respectful. You two need to work together and remain in sync during your shared pregnancy journey.
Be Honest: You might have feelings of anger, frustration, and fear – that is normal, and it is okay. While you should do your best not to add to her stress, you should still be honest with her. She is also likely facing her share of challenging feelings, so she will be grateful when you remind her she is not alone in this.
Talk Man to Man. Spero is not just for women. We are here for you as well. Spero has male advocates available to speak to you and give you accurate information about your options. You can come in with or without your partner. We have classes and other men’s resources to assist you in becoming a great father.
What NOT to do:
Bail. If you run from her and the situation, she will not feel secure and will not trust you.
Pressure her. Being demanding will push her away and likely into a regretful situation.
Don’t Forget….. She may be carrying the baby, but you have a very active position in this situation. You are important.
Next Steps:
Fatherhood Connect Group
Fatherhood is an awesome responsibility and a tough job. We understand that it’s important to be with others who are in a similar place with you. That is why we have our Fatherhood Connect Group that meets weekly. During our time we talk about whatever is on your mind, and share our experiences. You are not alone, and others have been in a similar position as you! – Call 810-985-4673 for more info
What if she chooses abortion?
You may be suffering a vague sense of loss if your partner chooses abortion, this is not unusual. If you find yourself grieving the loss of your unborn child and the opportunity to be a father, reach out to Spero. We have staff trained to listen and help you navigate the grieving process. Check out the links below for additional support.